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Despite the valiant conference-call jousting and the well-being crystal browsing and the creation of Bon Appétit test kitchen amuse-bouches, lockdown is a life mostly lived in limbo. A society measured in millimeters of combative growth, constantly inching forward, immediately stopped in its tracks. Nice Swing Bitch 2020 T-Shirt We’re all treading water, waiting to chase proverbial waterfalls with abandon. We’re all looking for ways to enrich lockdown like a sourdough, lest our growth stagnates. I binge podcasts on betterment and dream of a neater, more efficient existence with no slack to take up.
My tasks multi-ed, my meditations deepened, my emails crisper. I spiritually accept the challenge of doing the work. I develop a dazzling capsule beach wardrobe, navel-grazing with open-air toes, but I only make it as far as the Nice Swing Bitch 2020 T-Shirt local supermarket. The after-work kombucha I’ve painstakingly fermented tastes wrong on the sofa. My chakras are a scribble. I think I’m receptive to the universe, but my cat is over-stroked, my plants overwatered, and my husband is wearily repeating himself. I’m missing something. You’d think I’d miss the inane chatter of dinner in a multistory restaurant or the last-minute Ubering or stoking the embers of a house party. But in these heady times of self-actualized self-optimization, I miss being late. Life before lockdown was short on thrills, and running late was my cheapest.
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